Civitas Blog

I was with a woman, and the relationship turned sour becuase of her drinking habbits. She became pregnant and tried everything to miscarry. She has been telling me that the baby isnt mine, and all her friends but still gave my name to CSA out of spite. The refused to listen to my arguement and are now taking a substantial cut of my wages. Im depressed about this and the only way is to take her to court, but she has threatened not to turn up, which I know she wont and I will be lfet with the bill. What can I do now?

hi, i divorced the father of my daughter in 1996, in court it was settled that he would £300 per month. shortly after this decison he made the righetous decision ( no sarcasim intended of course !) by leaving employment, therefore no money was ever reclaimed. since then of course you discover that he is "doing well for himself", and you get on with your life. the reason why i remain somewhat angry with the british system is recently i have recieved notification from the tax cerdits to state that I have been overcharged and now need to pay back money, that clearly i haven't got, or i wouldn't have needed it in the first place ! the point is how can a man who has fathered a child walk the streets knowing he owes them ( to my calculations) over £40,000 ! yet the HMTax Credits can demand payment from me within 30 days time..... i work for childrens service and continually see more poverty on a daily basis and the consequences of absent fathers than most politicans see in there life time !.....Why should myself and my daughter pay back the fault of the tax credits as well as living with the fact that someone ( my daughters biological father) has made a clear choice not to pay for his child....there really is no justice....So... Go and get the money of from him and then come and see me !

Hi, I posted below this. Here is my update.
Glad to say i have got all my money back off the csa now, there were a few problems they said which made it take a little longer than expected. But all in all it took about 3-4 month to sort it out.

The staff seemed a lot better in these departments than when i dealt with the csa, all my queries where answered well and dealt with.

Hope this helps anyone in the same situation.

i have been paying csa for the last 6 years without fail i have it stopped out of my wages i have two children age 16,18 i am paying £135.00 a week my wages are £300.00 a week i cannot get nothing done about the amount i pay so just pay it..my eldest child is enrolled at college but not attending is working full time !! my youngest is finishing college in june ..wheres the justice for hard working paying fathers ??

I had a woman tell me she was pregnant with my baby, I didn't believe her so I asked for DNA tests.
Her reply was CSA, £191 a month. I was shocked at this and asked for DNA.
Over year later I get the results, and as I suspected the child was not mine. I've spoke to CSA and they want to interview her before they stop the deduct of earnings, which is a little out of order, but i'm a patient man, just hope I get all the money back I was made to pay.
Will update as I know more.

i am supposedly a father to 2 children i am not on the birth certificates and i was not in a relationship with this women. she was sleeping with other people. yet she has got incontact with the csa and told them i am the father. they are wanting £56 a week and she only claiming for one of the children. when the child was first born i was taking her to court for parental rights yet it didnt even get into court. because i have no legal rights as a father as i am not on birth certificate. so why should i pay csa. the mother of the children will not let me have dna tests done. i dont know what else to do. i have my own family now and i will not be able to support them. i am a serving soldier and have had to sign off and leave my career. if anyone can help please do.

iam in a simular situation previously made homless by silly amounts of csa then changed jobs to better my life and my new family and then csa change there payment to 40% of my wage i earn to much for legal aid but as my ex left me in so much debt i cant get credit i have £4000 worth of arrears which they cant prove as they have no idea what i have paid yet she has to say no i didn't pay and thats fine i have already lost £28,000 because of her and now they want £481 pound a month when previous payments were only £42
i am now forced into the situation where as there is no point in my working.
she left me to live with someone else and now she wants to take more away from me i would be better off dead!!!!!!

I brought up two of our children single handed whilst the third lived with the mother. Csa demanded payments in favour of the third child from me but didn't think I was eligible for payments myself from the mother. I now find out that the third child for whom I had paid almost £4000 for was not mine (a fact that the mother freely admits to having known from conception) but because the case has been 'closed' I am not going to be refunded. Wrote to my MP - tea and sympathy but didn't even suggest approaching the parliamentary ombudsman - not a vote winner I suppose. Mother even nows who the real father is.
Trying to work out what to do next. I am determined to get my money back

My ex has just given birth to a girl which is quite likely to be mine. I only knew her for 4 weeks before she was pregnant. It was both of our faults if it is mine. I want a dna test anyway. Her and her family are all Swiss, which probably means that if she wanted to she can (and almost definitely will in 3 or 4 years) move back home.

I don't speak German, and don't want to either. And I certainly don't want to live in Switzerland. And I definitely don't want to form an emotional attatchment to a child that will be taken away from me at any time. Not to mention being soley responsible for financial support.

I haven't got my name on the birth certificate yet. She wants me to put it on. I will if it's mine.

She's also threatening to restrict access on grounds of my character, but there's no substance to any kind of accusation she could make. She's just angry because she wants me to fork out for a kid that I didn't want, and then make my life as difficult as she can.

I'm very aware that when you have sex with someone you should be careful, and we weren't, so you get what you get. But if the mother is going to act like that it's extremely unfair to expect financial support from a would be father that's ejected from the relationship with his daughter.

To anyone with experience in this kind of thing, I would be grateful for any comments.

The csa have just advised me that the arrears on my 'account' caused by their delay in setting up a payment plan now means I have a debt of 5k and they want it paid before they close down so have added £80 to my monthly charge. They refused to negotiate on the amount eeven though I can prove I cannot afford the new level of payment. They have basically told me they don't care if my new wife, our 4month old child and I are made homeless as a result of it.....where is the human rights in all this?

My ex wife has moved in with her lover (after having an affair with him behind my back for some time). Both parties are on an excellent salary between them) and I am a disabled self-employed but very self sufficient decent guy trying to earn an honest living. My ex has not only managed to apply for custody of our son and won, had a considerable payoff from myself and incidently tried to pilfer the money I received from my accident. She has now applied for CSA of which she clearly stated in the court order that she would not apply for due to the generous payment bequeathed to her.

Absent Fathers, Single Mothers, what about the guy that has been used by his ex as a career stepping stone. He has to start again he wants to treat his kids but is not well paid and has to pay the CSA. She has moved in with a new partner & both are on a very good income. Why should the father be robbed of paying for luxuries with the kids and have to pay his ex who is on enough anyway and the kids will not see this cash. Yes track fathers who disappear and leave mothers on a small wage or benefit but there is no modification for poor fathers & afluent mothers whom wish to stick the knife in.

i am currently in the position of having a deduction of earnings order put on me i have rang CSA to many times asking 4 a DNA test to which i get the reply of Im on the birth certificate so Im the father but i only have a 5% fertility rate and dont think the child is mine. I have been told to pay £73 a week for one child out of my earnings. so as Im applying to the courts and waiting 4 a test what happen. How can this happen when the CSA write to you asking how do you want pay for the DNA test, then they send you a letter they don’t need the test……can anyone help me please

The csa made a calculation left it 2 years before informing me in which has now left me a bill of £2000+ i can now no longer work as i cant afford to because the csa we,re taking too much which left me and my present family of 6 £30 a week to live on to get food gas electric nappies etc is there anyone that can help me with this????????

why don't the goverment get men to pay the family allowance more men like myself would be willing to pay that than the hundreds of pounds a week that the csa are trying to get out of men. They should also take in to account each individual case, i wasn't the one unfaithful in the relationship yet i'm the one who still has to pay. The way its going it will be cheaper for me to buy a rope.

i have been paying my child support every month with out fail for the past 6 years by standing order to my ex wife but just recently the csa with out my prior knowledge or consent took £431.52p direct from my employers because they thought i had not made any payments this has left me in a very difficult possition as i never had enough money to pay certian bills as a result of this my bank has charged me sevral times because of insuficiant funds in my account the csa have told me that they dont know where the money is as it is lost in there system so they are not sure when i will get my money back if any one can help me out with some good advice i would be very greatfull

I am currently being bullied for a DNA test for a child that is not mine. Im NOT having the test and I will not be bullied by the CSA. The child is not mine full stop and the mother in question is just taking part in a vendetta by my ex-girlfriend. Even if the child was mine you would think that there was something in the law to protect a father from not being told for 15 years that he had a child ? I dont work I have no money and the CSA can go to hell, its about time men in this country had some legal rights.

I WAS BULLIED BY THE CSA into having a DNA test, which I had to pay for, for a child that I knew was not mine. The test came back negative but I cannot get my money back. I have writen and phoned but nothing seems to work .

Rob

I wondered whether the man listed as HJ, who posted a comment above could get in touch with me? We are trying to find a father to feature in a documentary about paternity testing for Channel Four. My email is eliya@wagtv.com. Thanks!

intresting reviews 1 in 6 biological father. my on going case. two DNA tests proved that the child is not mine. due to the incompertence staff at hastings not knowing procedures and giving false information to people they still ask for payments to be made. I have now got payments stopped but its cost me money becouse they belive what a women is telling the truth .but now the csa are making excuses not to refund the payments ive made for someone elses child. As this child has only known me since birth. its hard on both of us knowing the mother has lied to us both for years. My veiws are the csa should get DNA TESTS. DONE BEFORE ANY PAYMENTS are made by a suspected father.

I don't think it's true to say that "1 in 6 of these fathers are paying for children not biologically theirs".

I believe it's the case that of those fathers that questioned their paternity of the child in question, DNA evidence demonstrated that 1 in 6 were not the biological father. However, this is just 1 in 6 of those that questioned paternity, not one in six of all fathers. Only those that already have a doubt are likely to ask for the test.

It is imperative that ‘making a child’ comes to mean supporting a child, in this country.

You would have to abolish child support laws to do that, since men never give birth to children that they can't support.